A divorce or breakup is never easy when children are involved. Feelings like anger, betrayal and sadness are common.
Over time, many people get over their personal feelings or learn to put them aside for the sake of the children. Unfortunately, this is not always the case.
You may be in a situation where your co-parent is motivated by revenge and is focused only on making your life miserable and disrupting your relationship with your child.
Why do people seek revenge?
People act vengeful when they believe they are victims of injustice. These feelings often result in aggressive or juvenile behavior against the person they believe is responsible for the injustice.
In a co-parenting situation, this behavior usually results in one parent constantly lying about things that are said or done. They may also try to manipulate the children or the court to get what they want.
Vindictive behavior like this is often done solely for the benefit of the vengeful parent, and typically has nothing to do with the children. Therefore, the children are the ones who suffer the most.
Parental alienation syndrome
This type of behavior is often called “parental alienation syndrome.” If you believe you are experiencing this in your custody situation, proving it to a court can be challenging.
Carefully documenting your co-parent’s words and actions is important. Keep records of everything they say and do. This can help you prove them wrong if they make up stories designed to make you look bad.
Do not talk to your children about your co-parent’s behavior. Children should be kept out of these situations as much as possible.
What you can do
You should address the issue with your co-parent themselves. Emphasize how their actions are affecting the children.
They may be unwilling to listen or try to blame everything on you. If you fear your relationship with your children will potentially be permanently affected, you may want to seek professional advice on your situation.