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California Family Law Blog

How to deal with parental alienation

When you have children, divorce is not the end of the journey with you and your former spouse. You must also come together to raise your children, which can be difficult when one parent tries to turn the kids against the other. This situation is unfortunately all-too-common and parents often struggle with how to proceed.

According to Psychology Today, parental alienation is an attempt to curry favor with children by painting the other parent in a negative light. This often involves lies, insults, and insinuations that the parent doesn't truly love the kids or doesn't have their best interests in mind. Children, who are usually vulnerable after a divorce, often take these words to heart and can be easily swayed, to the point where they no longer want a relationship with the subject of the mistreatment. Parental alienation attempts often stem from narcissistic behaviors, which can be devastating to interpersonal relationships. 

Financial silence after a divorce

If you are like a lot of people who get divorced in California, you might be hesitant to disclose too many details about your divorce. The end of a marriage can be an emotionally challenging time and can leave individuals feeling embarrassed, even if they have really done nothing wrong. While it can be wise to avoid airing your dirty laundry just anywhere, it can also be helpful to find the right outlets with whom to share some details so that you can receive the level of support and guidance you might need or benefit from.

A CNBC Invest in You and Acorn Savings Survey found that money in particular was one topic that divorced people were more hesitant to discuss than their married or single but not divorced counterparts. Among all respondents, just over 25% of people said they did not talk to others about their finances. Among divorced respondents, however, that was much higher at 56%.

Apps and other tech to make post-divorce parenting easier

Most people think of divorce as the end of a relationship – and in some ways, that’s true. But if you are a parent of minor children, chances are good that divorce isn’t the end of your relationship with your soon-to-be ex. Rather, it is likely a change from spouses to co-parents.

In California, courts begin custody proceedings with the presumption that joint custody is in the best interests of the children (in the absence of factors like abuse, drug/alcohol abuse, etc.). If joint custody is in your future, you may need to find ways to make it work, even if you have difficulty getting along with your co-parent. Thankfully, there are numerous apps to make post-divorce parenting easier and more successful.

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