Having to deal with your ex, who is now your co-parent, can be one of the most challenging parts of sharing custody and parenting. Yet, this is something you will have to do, and it’s for the good of your children (and yourselves as parents) that you try to make it work well.
Here are some tips that could help you.
1. Remember why you are doing it
Remember the reason why you are talking to this person. It’s because you share minor children who depend on you both to do things for them, and who still desperately need and want both your love and attention.
Even if your child is a hulking, football-playing 17-year-old, they will still depend on you – even if it sometimes feels like it’s only to keep the fridge stocked and drive them to practice. When you and your co-parent realize why you are communicating and what’s at stake if you don’t, it can make it easier to do.
2. Transactional, not emotional
There may be a lot of bad blood between you. A lot of painful memories, regrets or things left unsaid. Those should not come into your conversations about your children, either verbally or emotionally. Think of it like a business transaction. There are things you need to achieve, and focusing on those things only, makes it more likely you will.
3. Consider alternative ways to talk
You don’t have to talk face-to-face with your co-parent. At least not for most things. Often this can be the most challenging way to do things, and something such as communicating via text messages, email or a parenting app is better. Plus, unlike a face-to-face conversation, both parties will have a record of the conversation to refer to in the future.
