It is often said that divorce is the first step to a fresh new life. Though, when kids are involved, divorce becomes the first step to a different life. This is because the ex-spouses are parents, which means they will be in each other’s lives for decades. This is why it is so important to co-parent from a place of keeping the best interests of the children at heart.
Best interests of the children
This “best interests” standard is likely familiar to anyone going through the divorce process with children because this is the standard used by the court to make determinations for child support and child custody. Indeed, the parents will receive a child custody order that will set the basics for their co-parenting, post-divorce. However, this standard should also be maintained when crafting co-parenting plans. Think about what is best for the children.
No conflicts
Of course, during the marriage and during the divorce process, there were conflicts. Even the most amicable divorces have some conflict. Nonetheless, these conflicts must be set aside not just in front of the children, but also between the ex-spouses themselves. Remember, to successfully co-parent, parents must be able to agree. As such, bringing up past conflicts or fighting between the ex-spouses will just make that working relationship much harder. Plus, any animosity between the ex-spouses can put addition, unneeded, stress on the children.
Do not fight for affection
Children crave stability and affection, not the newest toys, the biggest Christmas trees, etc. Both spouses should try to maintain as much stability as possible between their children’s pre- and post-divorce lives. This does not mean creating an ever-escalating battle for affection. Instead, the Manhattan Beach, California, parents should seek ways they can work together to ensure their children feel loved and supported.
