A spouse who displays toxic or unstable behavior can intensify the difficulties and emotional struggles of a divorce. More challenges may arise during the process if your partner struggles with untreated mental illness or uses manipulative tactics.
California family courts have the tools to address high-conflict divorces, which can help those in these situations. Knowing your options can help you survive this complex journey.
What are some high-conflict behaviors to look out for?
Certain behavior patterns may arise in high-conflict divorces. If you are ending things with a problematic spouse, ready yourself for:
- Toxic treatment: Your spouse may target you with manipulation, excessive criticism, blame-shifting and even intimidation or threats. They might do this to fulfill their own agendas or to hinder your attempts to divorce them.
- Relationship tension: They may attempt to manipulate your children, family, friends and other loved ones to turn them against you.
- Irresponsible behavior: During divorce proceedings, your soon-to-be-ex may outright disregard court orders, take unnecessary legal actions, or even lie and spread false information to sabotage your efforts.
Keep in mind that mental health issues may intensify these actions, adding another layer of complexity to your divorce.
Protecting yourself legally and emotionally
These tactics can corrode your mental health which may affect the outcome of your divorce. To shield your well-being during this time, consider these strategies:
- Keep a detailed record of all interactions
- Maintain firm boundaries
- Work with a therapist or counselor
- Use California’s domestic violence laws when appropriate
- Explore parallel parenting as an alternative to co-parenting
- Communicate through court-approved channels
- Secure your finances by separating accounts
- Prioritize self-care
While divorcing a difficult spouse may seem overwhelming, you can make your way through this process with the right support and strategies. Learning what toxic behaviors to watch out for can help you prepare and protect yourself and your psychological well-being as you move forward.
